In my previous blog I wrote of my desperateness to stay home and be a full time mommy, my frustration on why God wasn't blessing us with better opportunities. The disappointment of wondering why exactly we moved back to Idaho in the first place when it seems all of our reasons did not turn out at all like we expected.
Well, not much has changed physically in our lives but my heart has. Sometimes we need to come to terms with things, and sometimes we need to see things like they are and even if they don't turn out like we've hoped there is a kind of closure in knowing what happened. Then, you can heal. So maybe I was expecting the wrong out come, but not that this isn't what God wanted us to do. Sometimes his plans for us our very different then ours, and He knows what we need, what we must experience to heal and forgive. So that is my choice, to take everyday to forgive, to heal, to love. It isn't always easy.
I started a new job about a month ago it is by far not my favorite thing to do but thankfully the schedule seems to be a lot better then my previous job and they seem to be willing to work with Tony and I so that is a definite plus. Having this though has really caused me to wonder what the heck am I doing with my life? Working low waged jobs I don't enjoy and have to work all the weekends on, there's no consistency, and it is very hard to plan a family life with this kind of work, on top of just barely making it by each month.
So we've thought about it before but I have always been to afraid to actually follow through. I am finally in the process of applying for college and grants!! I am beyond excited to finally be making these decisions, I've decided to go for my teaching degree. I changed from nursing to that because I love the idea of having summers off with the kids and weekends, the schooling isn't as difficult and the job isn't nearly as demanding, I love kids and I have so many family members that are or have been teacher's such as my grandparents and both of my sister-in-laws. I truly feel this what God has planned for me right now and I cannot wait to began my journey.
So we finally were able to buy a new computer the very one I am typing right now. We haven't had one for about 8 months so this is so incredibly nice to have again. Doing everything on my phone can be very difficult and straining on my eyes. I am so happy to have it. So that is my update next time I'll try to write about the babies and how much they are changing!
