In the little things

It's really all in the little things. Little things like turning on worship music at the beginning of the day, whether you are truly worshiping or just going about your routine it changes your mood and the atmosphere of your home, and once I turn it on, I can't help but sit down or lift my hands and praise my God.

It's the little things like when I turn on the worship music and suddenly my daughter is by my side swaying back and forth singing. Melts my heart every time, I am finding when I turn on the music my little guy inside starts to kick, and I can't help but wonder what's really going on inside of me. I don't believe a child is ever to young to know the presence of God or to worship.

It's that one small moment you give in to Jesus and feel Him for the first time in days, the love and overwhelming presence. Why do I wait? Why do I not start every morning like this? Why is God so good to us that we can get "busy" and ignore Him for days, weeks, months, or even years, but He is right there when we silence ourselves?

I can't help but love Him more all the time for how wonderful He is. Every situation in my life where I have felt overwhelmed, stressed, like everything was impossible, and I just wanted to throw in the towel and give up on God, on life, everything, He has still provided whether I ask Him to or not, whether I am really intimate with Him or not. It doesn't matter what we give Him He is still there for us, and that is so hard to understand.

I can't even begin to recount all God has done for me. The times I have literally threatened to end my own life as a child unless God came thru, He did. The times where we didn't think we had money for food in the past and yet we always had enough, the times we didn't think we could pay our bills and yet somehow we have each time. Thinking I could never provide for our daughter and all the people who have given me clothes, and things we needed, a crib, stroller, everything. Now with our son, I haven't been freaking out about provision knowing God will take care of us, and just yesterday a girl I hardly know offered me all her baby boy things. I am beyond blessed, and one day I cannot wait to be able to give like others have given to me. I am forever grateful to so many people.

I may not spend hours a day seeking out God like I once did, I may not have a perfect walk with Him, yet He is still faithful. He is in all we do, He is in our work, in our everyday life, in our children, and everyday I am learning how much He is by my side, and how much I am learning thru this season even if it isn't like it used to be. He is so good to me! I give Him all the praise for everything in my life, in the pain there is beauty, because God can turn everything to good. I truly believe everything can turn to good no matter how awful it is.

Being a Mom

Being a mom is one of those things every one seems to take for granted as a child. I remember when I was a kid my mom would talk about how all she ever really wanted to be was a mommy, and I always thought that was lame. She would tell us that being a mom was the greatest gift someone could ever be given, and I would secretly hope I would never be just a "mom".

Boy do I think so differently now! Being a mom is awesome! Every day I fall more in love with my life as a mommy and wife, and I find so much fulfillment from it. Being a mom is full time, non stop work, but it is so rewarding! I find I learn far more then I teach Zoey every day. I learn my actions and words are always being watched my every step is followed and everything I do I am modeling to my daughter how a person should be. The responsibility is huge, and I have to watch myself, and find new ways to do things I do and say things differently all day long. But I love it! It gives me a reason to keep my home clean, to make sure we keep God as a priority in our life, and make sure we are healthy and not just lazy slobs.

I also hated the idea that being a mom meant, keeping up on laundry, learning to cook, clean, bath, and keep some kind of schedule thru out our days. I never wanted to just do those kind of things, but lately I am finding I actually enjoy cooking and learning to make things, I love to make a meal that Zoey loves or my husband loves, I love finding a good recipe that turns out right that we all enjoy, and I love the feeling of a clean home. I find days that I do nothing and sit around watching tv or whatever, I am so upset with myself at the end of it. But days I get off my butt and do the dishes, do some laundry, vacuum, and clean up I am proud of myself and my home. I don't often keep a good schedule and get everything done, working and balancing home life gets difficult, but it is something I am finally beginning to learn, and that feels so good! 

Our great thing lately has been deciding to set one day a week aside for cleaning, grocery shopping, and errands, and one day a week for getting out and having a fun family day. It is very rewarding, I don't expect each week to be perfect but this is definitely a step in the right direction and keeps us from eating out or going crazy from cabin fever. I love having a family, I take on the responsibility that being a mom and wife has and try to learn everyday. Learning to admit I am not perfect and I don't have it all together and sometimes I am totally wrong in what I do, and picking myself up each time and trying again. This is what we must do as moms all the time, and I am ok with that. I just want to be the best that I can be and raise a family that loves the Lord above all else is the most important thing in the world!

October

I cannot believe it is the middle of October, really I can't believe it is already October at all. Time has been flying. I am definitely enjoying the weather cooling off enough to go outside and not start sweating immediately, we still haven't hit the sweatshirt time yet, and I can't wait since I love to bundle up!

Today is my husbands Birthday, since he is working night shifts all week long we did an early celebration on Sunday! I love my husband so much and I love celebrating his life. He blesses me a ton, I don't know what I would do without him! Happy Birthday hunny!

I also got to hear my little baby boy's heart beat today, I love hearing that he is well and alive and really is there! Sometimes pregnancy is so awing it is hard to believe, even tho I feel him kicking all day long now and I am definitely starting to get a belly. 24 weeks a long already!! This little guy will be here before we know it!

We are beginning to enjoy the fall festivities, such as baking, and having anything to do with pumpkins that I can! We also hit up Big Lots for some very nicely priced decorations, we didn't do a ton, but the idea is to add on each year and if I start out with everything we have no where left to go. Having kids is the best thing for Holiday spirits and fun! Even tho Zoey may not remember yet, we will always have the pictures and stories to tell. We are hoping to go to a pumpkin patch this weekend, there will be many pictures taken!!

The season of Thanksgiving is here, and I can't help but be incredibly grateful for everything I have. So often we aspire for the next thing, and the next paycheck, that we forget what we have now. I have a beautiful family, a baby on the way, a daughter I adore and brings constant laughter and life into my home, a hardworking husband who is a wonderful daddy and man, a nice roomy apt. and a new car! Life is good. I may not know what tomorrow brings, or what will happen, but I do know I have a God who always provides for my needs and that is all I need. I wish we concentrated more on these things then what we do.